Somewhere
by snowflakesofmoonfire
Summary: G1 Songfic where Optimus Prime thinks about Elita One before he finds out that she is still alive


Somewhere

Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, sat on a cliff near the Ark volcano watching the stars in their spiral dance through the heavens. All other Autobots were in recharge except for those small few on night watch. It was extremely early in the morning and none of his human friends would be awake for another three or four more hours. It was twilight, the darkest part of night, all around him as he sat motionless against the night sky watching the distant stars. Tonight there was no moon and he preferred it that way. Not that Luna wasn't beautiful in all of her phases, but that sometimes her light hid Cybertron from his view and on this night he wanted to see the distant star that was his home planet.

**Lost in the darkness, hoping for a sign**

**Instead there is only silence**

**Can't you hear my screams?**

There was a familiar longing that brought him out here on this night like so many others. It was a name that Ironhide had mentioned in passing earlier during the day. It wasn't as if his old friend had mentioned the name in an attempt to hurt him because Ironhide simply didn't know. Ironhide had mentioned something about Chromia to Carle and Chromia's name had led Optimus to immediately think of Elita One. None of his Autobots knew the secret pain that Optimus carried with him on an almost daily basis. It was a brew of pain mixed with sorrow and regret. Why hadn't he just let Elita come with him so long ago?

**Never stop hoping**

**Need to know where you are **

**But one thing is for sure**

**You're always in my heart**

He knew that he would always carry a part of her in his Spark but it wasn't the same as having her physically by his side. He remembered the way she was the last time he saw her, running through bomb blasts to plead with him.

_"Optimus! Wait!" _

_"Elita, take cover! I will return for you as soon as we need."_

_"I want to go with you!"_

_"It's too dangerous! Go back!"_

_And then the bombs began to fall again and she was gone…_

He knew Elita was a strong fighter like himself. Optimus knew she was just as strong as he was but he had wanted to play the hero. Gazing out at the stars he fought the sadness from overtaking him. In not allowing her to come with him, he had left her on Cybertron to die. In trying to protect her, he had handed her a death sentence.

**Lost in the darkness, try to find your way home**

**I want to embrace you and never let you go**

**Almost hope you're in heaven so no one can hurt your soul**

**Living in agony cause I just do not know**

**Where you are**

Re-establishing their communications link with Cybertron, Optimus had learned that most of the femmes had gone underground upon their leaving. The official report on Elita was that she had been declared "missing." Optimus wanted to believe that "missing" was worse than being declared "deceased." At least if she were deceased, he would know that her Spark had rejoined the Matrix he carried within himself. He would know exactly where she was and that she would be at peace. But missing? She could be anywhere, perhaps even enslaved to the Decepticons. Maybe she wasn't on Cybertron anymore since four million years _had_ passed since he had seen her last. If that were true, then there were countless planets in the universe she could be on.

But the feelings that plagued Optimus most was if she were still waiting for him. He had promised and promises to any Autobot, but especially to her, were never broken. He had given his word; he just didn't know how long it would be before he could follow through with his promise.

**Wherever you are, I won't stop searching **

**Whatever it takes, I need to know**

He wanted to know that she was still alive and that she was alright. He wanted to know if she could forgive him for not taking her along when he had the chance. Optimus looked away from the stars for a moment and down at the earth around him. His Spark screamed at him to be honest with himself. Yes, what he really wanted to know was if she still loved him and thought about him as much as he still loved and thought about her.

His thoughts washed over all the times they had shared together as both friends and lovers. All the times they had gone out racing together. He smiled inwardly at the way she would get angry knowing he allowed her to win their races. It wasn't just the intimacy that they had shared that made her special, but the way she had made him feel whole and complete. When the burden of carrying the Matrix or being the Autobot leader came too hard to bare, she had always been right there, ready to make him laugh or to wrap her Spark around his own and make his world a little bit brighter.

**I'll find you somewhere**

**I'll keep on trying until my dying day**

**I just need to know whatever has happened**

**The truth will free my soul**

One by one the stars began to fade from view as the coming sun began turning the sky lighter hues of blue. Optimus arose to his feet, his optics never leaving the spot in the sky that held Cybertron. He knew that one day he would find Elita and that they would be together again. One day he would know what happened and where she was. Until that day… until they were again one.

Authors Note: story takes place before the episode where the Autobots and Optimus Prime learns what happened to the femmes on Cybertron and the song used is Somewhere by Within Temptation


End file.
